“My Inner Bliss”: Romance and the Loving of Men
Throughout his poems, Matias never describes himself, or his attraction to other men, as wrong or bad. His poetry never strays into self-loathing or a desire to change himself. Instead, many of his poems are self-affirming in his identity. When writing about his romantic relationships, Matias often expressed deep intimacy and respect for those he loved. Romantic words and sentiments infuse his love poems, many of which he wrote while an undergraduate at Trinity. Throughout his work, he writes positively of his attraction towards men, using words of wanting, attraction, and other flowery language to describe how he views the subjects. In “Bobby,” for example, Matias writes about how the subject acts as a light in his world. Even in some of the poetry he wrote about being heartbroken, like “Untitled" [S1 F2 13], he writes about the love he wishes he still had, rather than any regret for having it. The following poetry by David works to show how he openly and honestly expressed his identity as a gay man.
"Untitled" [Can I stress the glory enough...] - S1 F2 56
In this work, David states explicitly that love helps him cope with difficult times. He writes that he will meet hard journeys “with joy, for I have comfort cushioning me in the form of love.” This poem describes love, and more specifically his love for another man, as an uplifting and fulfilling experience in his life. In his writing, it acts as a driving force of good and positivity.
"Brian" - A Series of Poems
“Brian” is a series of three poems that all seem to be about a singular subject. Each poem offers a vignette of a different scenario in which David observes and longs for the subject. He describes his yearning in the earliest “Brian” by explaining that “you flirt my mind” and explaining that all he wants is to hold them as they sleep.
In the second “Brian,” he once again writes about his longing for the subject, “for touching would be a heaven too high to climb.” By describing the subject in such a way, he once again shows that he does not see his attraction towards men as a dirty thing, but rather a lofty dream he is forever reaching for.
Finally, in the third “Brian” poem, he explicitly cites that he wishes that he were the raindrops that get the opportunity to touch the subject’s skin as they fall. To write with desire in this way is consistent with his lack of attempting to hide an attraction for men, preferring to openly write about it and embrace it.
"Bobby" - S1 F1 F12
“Bobby” is written with positive descriptives of the subject. In this poem, he compares the subject to a “beacon,” and reflects on how these characteristics allow him to enter “even the dark depths” of David’s heart. Matias writes about the qualities of the subject of this poem with a deep appreciation and emphasis on how it affects matters of his own heart.
"Untitled" [Maybe our disembodied souls...] S1 F2 75
By writing about the hypothetical longevity of his relationship with the subject, Matias conveys his feelings of happiness and contentedness in his romantic life. By projecting into the future, it is clear that he intended on being in a long-term committed relationship, with no signs of trepidation towards the fact it is a man that he is writing about.
"Untitled" [Never was I more myself...] - S1 F2 13
In this poem, David writes about how he misses the subject and how he always thinks about the love that has been lost between them. Love has a sad side as well, and even though David is expressing negative emotions, they are not aimed at his own sexuality. Instead he writes openly about the love he misses between himself and another man.