"God So Unconditionally Blind": Faith as Affirmation
At other points in his life, Matias found space for self-acceptance within the Christian faith. This transformed his relationship with Christianity into one that affirmed rather than denied his identity as a gay man. Focusing on the spiritual side of Christianity, with its tenets of unconditional love and grace, helped Matias find acceptance within the teachings of the church. Matias came to this perspective because he believed that Christianity was an inherently loving religion, and that God was an inherently loving being. However, he rejected the organized dogma of “traditional” Christianity, which he thought had twisted the faith through its intolerance of homosexuality. In his work, he positioned his own acceptance and interpretation of Christianity as the true form of the religion, calling for a Christianity that would be open and loving to everyone, including queer people.
In this poem, Matias advocates for physical love as a means for achieving spiritual love. He suggests that rejecting God is rejecting a form of love, and concludes that rejecting God would stunt his spiritual growth. This realization offered Matias a bridge to accepting Christianity by opening space in the faith for gay love.
Here, Matias asks God explicitly to bless a wedding where “two masculing hands unite,” and writes “you God/ so unconditionally blind.” This suggests that he accepts God as a figure supportive of his sexuality, as he believes God is blind to the details of who is married, so long as there is love in a happy marriage.
This poem makes oblique references to Christian sayings such as “love thy neighbor,” but adds that one should love their neighbor, even if one does not understand them. In this way, Matias reframes the classic Christian precept to include himself and other queer folks as well.
Though this poem is not about himself, here Matias still asks God to bless a child. Matias shows that some children are born different, but reminds readers that these children are still blessed by God in order to show that his sexuality is still valid within the Christian faith.
Matais writes that his father and his congregation have forgotten the true meaning of Christianity because they tell him “Don’t say that” in reaction to his use of the word “lover.” Their lack of acceptance, according to Matias, debases the true meaning of Christianity.